Let the Journey Begin...

 Ok, where do we start? I know, I know...you want to know WHY you are spending time reading yet another blog post. You also want to kn9w just who the hell I am.

My name is Bobbie. I am a typical 46 yr old wife and mother to 3 young adults. I am starting this blog for a whole host of reasons and if you continue to follow me you will find out what they are.

Let's be honest: I have A LOT of time on my hands and I love to talk and share with anyone who will listen.

I love to laugh at the most childish shit that occurs because you know what, I want too! That's what life is all about. Finding those moments that make you feel childish and cherishing each one. It's about letting your hair down and running around braless...because that's what toots your damn horn....lol...

I have lived so many lives in my 46 yrs on this earth and trust me when I said I am DONE! I have been on this really intense kick, well since the start if 2022. I KNOW that I am MORE than what others have said/say, or that they believe etc. I may not be a master at one thing with all my degrees ha ging on a lonely wall, but I sure as hell am not someone who is going to stay put in this tiny damn box society has tried to put me in.

I am loud, I am opinionated, I am strong, I am resilient, I am knowledgeable, I am a force to be reckoned with but I am gentle, I am kind, Iam a helper, I am weak, I am humble, I am loyal, I am quiet, I will stand with the underdog every single time, I am a lover, I am a thinker and that folks is WHY, I AM FIERCE! Without apology.

I used to believe that there wasn't anything I couldn't do, except be the president. But as you grow, get older, mature you start honing in on things in new perspective. I used to be so careless and free. I never worried about the what ifs.....then everything changed.

I have felt like I have been in the trenches of war for 20 years right now. I have been battling and battling and battling.....only to REALIZE...I have been fighting all the wrong people, places, things, I have been fighting battles that I should have just spoken to and walked away from.

You see we all have battles, it doesn't matter the label, what matters is changing it around to something you can win.

If you are battling societal norms, change your view. Learn to say thats ok and I am happy that it works for you that way, but it doesn't work for me.

If you are battling with tight finances, start saving back as much as you can and do not touch it. Put it into a savings account and let it accumulate some percentage. Once you get it up to $500 or so, invest $250 of it. Save the other $250 and continue on that path until you can pull yourself out of the hole. 

If you are battling with what others think of you, change yo damn friends. You do NOT need that shit hanging around you. Find people who loves you for you, who supports you, who we keep you accountable and moving forward.

If you are batt.ing with your appearance, stop it. You are GORGEOUS because you are you. You are ENOUGH! You are LOVED! You are Beautiful regardless of what someone else says. Take back your power from those negative people in your life. They don't pay your bills, put a roof over your head....infact they won't be there for you 99% of the time. So, you gotta learn to have your own back. You've got to set some really firm boundaries and don't cross them for anyone.

If you are battling with self worth, then honey, its as easy and as hard as this, whoever made you believe that you are worthless was lying to you. They were reflecting themselves and transferring it unto you. Stand up! The sky is the limit, you just have to learn to clap for yourself.

If you are battling with your partner/spouse, take a reaaly good, deep and thorough look within. Are you really happy being with them? Are there signs that up until now you could ignore but you can't anymore? Start taking some baby steps to break away. If you are in DANGER, PLEASE CALL THE POLICE! NEVER, EVER stay somewhere you are physically unsafe.

Ok, I think I am going to end this one here....in all the world, if you feel no one loves you, I Do!

We will work through things together. If you want to chat please reach out to me and I will respond back.

Good night Lovelies!

Today is THE Day!

 Today is THE Day....

Hello and Welcome!

WARNING!

This blog is unique, graphic, thought provoking, deep and may cause flash backs!

These are MY personal experiences, thoughts, feelings and life!

So, let's get started!!!

I will be adding different thoughts in as I write and I hope that it helps the reader connect with me and that it helps them to connect to something within them.

Today, is an ordinary day in South Australia. My family and I are doing a long term housesit and there isn't much to do.

But TODAY, I  decided to take back my life. Today, I am choosing to be someone more.....ME.

I have lived my entire life of 46 years, catering, bending, pleasing everyone but MYSELF. Please do not get me wrong, I thrive in helping others and I enjoy giving. But that should not overtake or burden the time I spend on ME!

I never really grasped life, people, the ways of the world, how to do everything or even how to become a real woman. 

This saddens me and has sadden me for a very long time. It has been a love/hate relationship with myself. Oh, I love the thought of becoming a self sufficient woman, who is on point and on top of her game. But then there is the flip side, how in the hell am I going to do this, especially in my 40's? How am I going to catch up with ALL the other women my age? Did I just sound childish when I said that? If, I am real and being me, will people actually like me?

It's a never ending carousel! I go round and round until I am so mentally exhausted that I can't think about it anymore and I just shut all the way done to my extreme mode. Which is, I breathe, try NOT to do anything relatable of thinking, I severely over sleep, I hide away in a room to NOT interact with anyone including my husband or adult daughter.

Before you think it, I have battled with Depression! You see I am a very analytical person, I am an overthinker. My mind really does go at the speed of light but unfortunately my mouth doesn't. 

I should also mention, I am from the USA, but moved to Australia 2010 and never left. So, that's been a hell of a journey. Trying to unlearn my country teachings and then expanding knowledge of my NEW LIFE!

Trust me peeps, I STILL have my American Accent and I will NOT apologize for it! I am me and thats who I will always be. I am a really tough ole duck who just wants to figure out what the hell I am doing here on planet earth.

But today......today, once more I am taking baby steps to pull out of this bubble I place myself in and become more informed, more intune, more productive in my life.

I am choosing to take one day at a time and trying my best to learn 1 new thing each day. I am choosing to finally show up for my damn self now. I know and fully believe I can do this.(Youtube can be a great help getting your life organized), I should know as I have spent hours, days and weeks on there for a while now. 

So, I started making a small to do list and I have kept to it today, so far anyways. Only 7 things to complete today.

My kids are adults, and I have no pets so I don't have much to do everyday, but for the love of god, Imma find something to do everyday, even if its practicing conversations and my reactions in the mirror.

I have a really difficult time communicating with some people, while I can talk for months with others. Funny, how that works...lol!

So, TODAY, I am just going to start being ME! Today, I started showing up for ME! But tomorrow, I am taking over the world.....wanna join me? Ok then, let's go! 

*~Bonus~ You do NOT need to be anyone but you, whether that is a rainbow colored unicorn, a witch, a goth, a mom, a wife, a crafter, a christian, a day dreamed, a mess, a chaotic, a loner...just be who YOU are, you shouldn't adjust who you are to fit in or soften yourself so others don't feel uncomfortable. Simply, because if that is happening, sweetheart, they are not your people, tribe, family, friends etc...

Be BEAUTIFUL today by being your damn self!