Today is THE Day!

 Today is THE Day....

Hello and Welcome!

WARNING!

This blog is unique, graphic, thought provoking, deep and may cause flash backs!

These are MY personal experiences, thoughts, feelings and life!

So, let's get started!!!

I will be adding different thoughts in as I write and I hope that it helps the reader connect with me and that it helps them to connect to something within them.

Today, is an ordinary day in South Australia. My family and I are doing a long term housesit and there isn't much to do.

But TODAY, I  decided to take back my life. Today, I am choosing to be someone more.....ME.

I have lived my entire life of 46 years, catering, bending, pleasing everyone but MYSELF. Please do not get me wrong, I thrive in helping others and I enjoy giving. But that should not overtake or burden the time I spend on ME!

I never really grasped life, people, the ways of the world, how to do everything or even how to become a real woman. 

This saddens me and has sadden me for a very long time. It has been a love/hate relationship with myself. Oh, I love the thought of becoming a self sufficient woman, who is on point and on top of her game. But then there is the flip side, how in the hell am I going to do this, especially in my 40's? How am I going to catch up with ALL the other women my age? Did I just sound childish when I said that? If, I am real and being me, will people actually like me?

It's a never ending carousel! I go round and round until I am so mentally exhausted that I can't think about it anymore and I just shut all the way done to my extreme mode. Which is, I breathe, try NOT to do anything relatable of thinking, I severely over sleep, I hide away in a room to NOT interact with anyone including my husband or adult daughter.

Before you think it, I have battled with Depression! You see I am a very analytical person, I am an overthinker. My mind really does go at the speed of light but unfortunately my mouth doesn't. 

I should also mention, I am from the USA, but moved to Australia 2010 and never left. So, that's been a hell of a journey. Trying to unlearn my country teachings and then expanding knowledge of my NEW LIFE!

Trust me peeps, I STILL have my American Accent and I will NOT apologize for it! I am me and thats who I will always be. I am a really tough ole duck who just wants to figure out what the hell I am doing here on planet earth.

But today......today, once more I am taking baby steps to pull out of this bubble I place myself in and become more informed, more intune, more productive in my life.

I am choosing to take one day at a time and trying my best to learn 1 new thing each day. I am choosing to finally show up for my damn self now. I know and fully believe I can do this.(Youtube can be a great help getting your life organized), I should know as I have spent hours, days and weeks on there for a while now. 

So, I started making a small to do list and I have kept to it today, so far anyways. Only 7 things to complete today.

My kids are adults, and I have no pets so I don't have much to do everyday, but for the love of god, Imma find something to do everyday, even if its practicing conversations and my reactions in the mirror.

I have a really difficult time communicating with some people, while I can talk for months with others. Funny, how that works...lol!

So, TODAY, I am just going to start being ME! Today, I started showing up for ME! But tomorrow, I am taking over the world.....wanna join me? Ok then, let's go! 

*~Bonus~ You do NOT need to be anyone but you, whether that is a rainbow colored unicorn, a witch, a goth, a mom, a wife, a crafter, a christian, a day dreamed, a mess, a chaotic, a loner...just be who YOU are, you shouldn't adjust who you are to fit in or soften yourself so others don't feel uncomfortable. Simply, because if that is happening, sweetheart, they are not your people, tribe, family, friends etc...

Be BEAUTIFUL today by being your damn self!